Food & Silly Things

Prompt: Name and describe five silly things you do.

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  1. Pancakes must be eaten in stacks of three. I have no idea how this started, but I can’t think of anything (in relation to breakfast) more glorious than three evenly-buttered pancakes stacked on top of one another. But that’s not all! To get the perfect stack of pancakes, the syrup also has to be poured in a certain pattern. I always pour the syrup over my pancakes using three horizontal stripes, followed by three vertical stripes. (As I’m typing, I am feeling the sudden urge to post a YouTube video about this because I’m sure there is so much pancake injustice going on right now). I promise you, if you eat pancakes this way, you will never be disappointed with how they taste. The even-buttering makes it so that no one layer is too greasy, and the perfect striping of the syrup is to ensure that you can actually taste the pancake instead of drenching it in liquid sugar.
  2. Hash browns are best covered in syrup.  Speaking of proper syrup practices, I don’t really care about the way in which syrup is poured over my hash browns, as long as it’s there. I’m pretty sure I began doing this when I ordered pancakes with hash browns and some other side at restaurants (probably toast and eggs). My syrup would drip off the sides of my pancakes, onto my plate, and slowly work its way into my hash browns. I used to just eat them with the leftover syrup from my pancakes, but after a while I think I just decided hash browns deserve their own syrup. It’s the perfect combination of potato and sweet goodness. It’s incredibly delicious. Here’s the problem: I always have to ask for syrup to be brought to the table after my food arrives. Why? Does everyone really eat their hashbrowns dry?! That’s disgusting! And please, please do not tell me you eat hashbrowns with ketchup. They are not french fries! We are at breakfast, people. Act civilized and put syrup on your shredded potatoes.
  3. I have a specific order for each fast-food restaurant I eat at. McDonald’s? That’d be a #1 – Big Mac meal with a medium Coke. Taco Bell? Hello, #9 – Crunch Wrap Supreme with a crunchy taco and large Pepsi. Subway? Now this is the big one because I’ve been ordering the same sandwich since I was about 8 years old and I go there a lot. For this order, I get a 6-inch wheat sub with ham and American cheese. The veggies are lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers, black olives, banana peppers, and light mayo. I also get a meal – but I switch it up with the chips and cookies. I have a chip and cookie preference, but it gets a little complicated as soon as my first chip choice (baked sour cream and onion Lay’s) is out and unavailable for my taking. Anyway, a medium Coke goes with this order. I do this mostly because it’s easy and I never have to think about what I’m going to order while I’m in line. When I get up to the counter, I can immediately order without indecision. I also feel like I will be disappointed if one day I chose something different and hate it. Then I’ll just want to take it back and get my usual.
  4. I order tomatoes on my Subway sandwich and always pick one off. Subway employees put three tomatoes on my 6-inch sandwich. I started picking one off because when I put the sandwich up to my mouth to eat, the bottom tomato would start to slide out of the sandwich every single time. So, I would just pick off the bottom tomato and go on my merry way. Now I think it’s just habit. The tomato at the bottom of my sandwich always gets tossed aside. I should probably just start telling the Subway people to put two tomatoes on my sandwich, but now it’s tradition. So I guess the bottom tomato on my sandwich is forever doomed.
  5. Dairy must NEVER be shared… EVER. This may be the silliest thing I do, but my milk and ice cream is for me and me only. I have no logical explanation for this, so I will just leave you with it as is.
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Ew… Puke. Ew!

Looking back, all of these deal with food… I promise, I really am not that picky. Some foods just have rules.

The Bugs!

The other day, my sister came into my room dying laughing because her co-workers had shown her a Vine video at work, so of course she had to show it to me. She was already crying when she came into my room because she was laughing so hard at this video, so I assumed it had to be good. She showed me it and I laughed a little bit, but I definitely was not crying… until a day later when the hilarity of the video hit me all at once.

Most of the time, I get home from school late at night. And yes, I am one of those people who is scared of the dark. Okay, not of the dark per say, but what’s in the dark. I’m always afraid of someone jumping out from behind a corner or a big dog running up to me or something. So anyway, I pull in my driveway and of course, it’s pitch black. I get out of the car, gather up my backpack and laptop bag, and close the car door. I have a little remote on my keys to lock my car door, so when I push it my headlights flash and my doors lock. Sometimes, I just keep hitting the “lock” button until I get to my front door so that I will have a little bit of light from my headlights as I’m walking.

This particular night, I wasn’t feeling as scared, so I just clicked the “lock” button once and went on my way to the front door. As I was rounding the corner to get to the door, all my fright hit me at once. I started a slight jog, but by the time I got to the door, I was in full panic mode. Like I said, I hate the dark.

My front door has an electronic key pad, so in all my fear, I was trying to hurriedly press the right numbers on the pad, but of course, I was trying to do it too fast, so I was missing numbers and getting the wrong combination. I got the wrong combination like three times, so I tried to slow myself down, breathe, and just get in the freaking house.

When I finally got the right combination, I practically busted the door down. At that point, the video my sister showed me hit me so hard, I started crying out of laughter. It was probably quite the sight to see.

All I could think was “THE BUGS!”

Disclaimer: The more you watch this video, the more you’ll get a kick out of it.

‘Bout to Burst: I Can’t Hold It Anymore!

So apparently I’m going to be posting bathroom stories for a while because my last post got me thinking about all the crazy things I’ve experienced with bathrooms.

This particular bathroom incident happened a little less than a year ago while I was visiting my family in Texas. We decided to go to Galveston on this particular day, just to sightsee, so we took the ferry across and had a wonderful day doing touristy things. When the sun was about to set, we decided it was time to head back to Orange, where most of my family lives down there, but before we left, Leeah and I wanted to visit our favorite tourist stop. While there, we decided that we were parched from the day on the beach and all the walking around in the shops on The Strand, so we walked across the street to a McDonald’s.

I got a HUGE iced tea (ya know, in one of those big foam cups) and it was gone by the time we got on the ferry, which was like 2 miles from McDonald’s. (I mean, the island is only 27 miles long and 3 miles wide… so it doesn’t take long to get anywhere). But that iced tea was demolished.Ferry

Anyone whose ever been to Galveston knows that there’s a really really really long stretch of road (I-87) with nothing except beach houses for miles after you get off the ferry (if you’re headed toward Houston). I’ll remember this road forever because it has scarred me for life. I promise you, there is nowhere to stop for gas, food, or the freaking bathroom. Except when you get towards the end. And let me tell you, this freaking road does not end… for miles.

By the time we got to the end of this ridiculously long stretch of road, I was about ready to burst. I had to pee so badly. I’m pretty sure it was the closest I’ve ever been to peeing my pants. It was awful. But we’re just getting to the good part.

So, we finally reached the gas station at the end of I-87. I thought I was seeing a mirage. My sister and I jumped out of the car and walked (by that, I mean we pretty much ran like a bunch of uncivilized children) into this gas station and quickly searched for the nearest bathroom (at that point, I would’ve been satisfied with a hole in the ground. The place didn’t even need walls. I had to go.) After we found the bathroom, I raced myself right on in there. I was smart enough to look for toilet paper as to not violate Restroom Rule #1. But guess what? There was no toilet paper to be found.

I raced out to the cashier to ask for toilet paper, but he wasn’t behind the register. Great. So I rang the little desk bell like 19 times. By the time the cashier took his sweet time making his way up to the register, I thought my bladder might explode. As soon as I saw him, I practically made a public declaration of my need for proper restroom supplies.

Me: “I NEED TOILET PAPER!”

Cashier: “Oh, the bathroom doesn’t have any?”

Me: “No, it’s all out.”

Cashier: “Okay, let me get some. I’ll be right back.”

You guys, it took him forever to find where he stocked his own toilet paper. When he finally returned to the front of the store, he held two rolls of TP covered in plastic. Awesome. I reached my hand out to take them from him, ready to make a mad dash for the bathroom.

Cashier: “Let me unwrap these for you.”

What he should’ve said was: “Let me take my sweet time cautiously unwrapping these two rolls of TP because I’m going to save the freaking plastic wrapping.”

I was almost rude. But I held it in. He was just trying to be nice. After his 5-minute unwrapping marathon, he finally handed me the blessed TP. This time, I unashamedly sprinted for the bathroom. Fresh TP in tow, I closed the door behind me. I was unbuckling my belt when I coincidentally looked up at the sign on the back of the door. It said something to the effect of:

“Only paying customers may use this restroom.”

Oh, God bless America. I should’ve just peed myself right then and there to make the universe happy, but I settled for using the toilet… and buying an ice cream.