The Impending Kitchen Catastrophe

Carnival

Carnival 2012

Papí’s birthday was on Monday. (Papí is my dad. I don’t know why I call him that. I just always have.) Because my family is incredibly busy all the time, we decided that we are going to celebrate it this weekend. My mom, sister, and I are all in agreement that we should think of something really nice to do for Papí on his birthday.

A few days ago, my sister had the most brilliant idea ever… not. She decided that we should make Papí one of his cakes for his birthday. For those of you who don’t know, Papí is a freaking cake decorator. He does it as kind of a hobby/side job, but he is really good.

Now, let’s take a second and talk about my talents in the kitchen…

Oh wait, I can’t think of any! I am seriously the worst cook/baker ever. I am not exaggerating, you guys. I’ve messed up freezer pizza and pancakes! I’m pretty sure I could burn water.

I actually tried to help Papí with one of his cakes before. He was pressed for time to get a cake done, so he asked me do a base coat of frosting for him. No problem, right? I mean this cake was going to turn out looking like an iPod, so it should’ve been fairly simple since the shape was still rectangular.

Halloween

Halloween 2011

Nope.

White frosting and chocolate cake. Not a good assignment for me. First of all, as cake decorators do, Papí wanted the top cut off the cake. Awesome. I got out his little saw gadget and tried my darnedest to make this cake level. Have y’all ever tried to cut the top off a cake? I swear, it is an impossible task. It ended up a little crooked, but I knew I was going to cover it up with frosting, so no big deal, right? Ha. As I began to frost, I realized that it takes a really special person to be a cake decorator. My patience is way too short for that job. Chocolate crumbs were all up in that frosting. True story. I’ve never helped Papí with a cake again.

So, make a cake decorator one of his cakes for his birthday? Bump that!

I mean, I guess I can be present in the kitchen while my mom and sister try to do the impossible. I guess we’ll see if they can even get Papí’s buttercream frosting right. Either way, I’ll get to eat the cake top, which is pretty much heavenly.

R2-D2

R2-D2 2011

SpongeBob

SpongeBob 2011

Tow Mater

Tow Mater 2011

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