The Exiled Easy Chair

My parents used to have a chair in the living room. It was, I swear, the most comfortable double-wide recliner with extra plush cushions that perfectly supported my every curve. Sitting on this thing was seriously like sitting on a cloud in heaven. Since the chair was so large and luxurious, my sisters and I coined it “The Fat Man Chair.”

Not long ago, I came home to discover that The Fat Man Chair was gone. My parents had decided that the chair “didn’t fit” with the other living room furniture, so they moved The Fat Man Chair from the living room into the dog’s room. Yes, the dog has its own room. Long story short, when my sister moved out, she left her dog with my parents. My sister’s room became the dog’s room/storage room. Plus, the dog is just really spoiled so apparently it needed its own room. For those of you who know me well, you know that I hate dogs. Call me heartless, but they are slobbery, smelly, and just gross. They completely go against my need for cleanliness.

Anyway, like I said, my parents moved The Fat Man Chair into the dog’s room. It was probably the saddest day of my life. It was the day that I could never use The Fat Man Chair again. After all, it was in the dog’s room. I was never going to go in there and sit in it…ever.

Not long after the unfortunate removal of the chair from the living room, I came home on another day to find that there was something sitting in the chair’s place. We’ll call it ExerciseThingy because I still have no idea what the heck this thing is called.

Before today, I had never really taken the time to sit on ExerciseThingy or see what it did and how it worked. (Before, I think I was just too sore about The Fat Man Chair being exiled.) But today, a combination of boredom and curiosity led me to investigate this contraption.

All I have to say is:

  1. I sincerely hope my parents don’t plan on slowly replacing all the living room furniture with gym equipment.
  2. If they were worried about The Fat Man Chair ruining the aesthetics of the living room, let me be the first to tell you that ExerciseThingy is 10 times more visually displeasing.
  3. If ExerciseThingy is going to stay in the living room, I may as well have some fun with it. My plan: drive my parents nuts by finding the most ridiculous ways to use the contraption. Hopefully, they will see that having it in the living room is absurd and will move The Fat Man Chair back to its proper place.

That'd be great

I’ll keep y’all updated.

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