The Exiled Easy Chair

My parents used to have a chair in the living room. It was, I swear, the most comfortable double-wide recliner with extra plush cushions that perfectly supported my every curve. Sitting on this thing was seriously like sitting on a cloud in heaven. Since the chair was so large and luxurious, my sisters and I coined it “The Fat Man Chair.”

Not long ago, I came home to discover that The Fat Man Chair was gone. My parents had decided that the chair “didn’t fit” with the other living room furniture, so they moved The Fat Man Chair from the living room into the dog’s room. Yes, the dog has its own room. Long story short, when my sister moved out, she left her dog with my parents. My sister’s room became the dog’s room/storage room. Plus, the dog is just really spoiled so apparently it needed its own room. For those of you who know me well, you know that I hate dogs. Call me heartless, but they are slobbery, smelly, and just gross. They completely go against my need for cleanliness.

Anyway, like I said, my parents moved The Fat Man Chair into the dog’s room. It was probably the saddest day of my life. It was the day that I could never use The Fat Man Chair again. After all, it was in the dog’s room. I was never going to go in there and sit in it…ever.

Not long after the unfortunate removal of the chair from the living room, I came home on another day to find that there was something sitting in the chair’s place. We’ll call it ExerciseThingy because I still have no idea what the heck this thing is called.

Before today, I had never really taken the time to sit on ExerciseThingy or see what it did and how it worked. (Before, I think I was just too sore about The Fat Man Chair being exiled.) But today, a combination of boredom and curiosity led me to investigate this contraption.

All I have to say is:

  1. I sincerely hope my parents don’t plan on slowly replacing all the living room furniture with gym equipment.
  2. If they were worried about The Fat Man Chair ruining the aesthetics of the living room, let me be the first to tell you that ExerciseThingy is 10 times more visually displeasing.
  3. If ExerciseThingy is going to stay in the living room, I may as well have some fun with it. My plan: drive my parents nuts by finding the most ridiculous ways to use the contraption. Hopefully, they will see that having it in the living room is absurd and will move The Fat Man Chair back to its proper place.

That'd be great

I’ll keep y’all updated.

Free Trial Frugality

I am cheap. Wait. Let’s clear this up right now: I am not rent-a-room-by-the-hour cheap. I’m talking about money. For the sake of this conversation, we’ll call it frugal. My parents say I squeak when I walk. That’s how frugal I am. Here’s some imagery of me at the gas station…

There are some things that I have to spend money on. Like tuition and books for school, gas for my car, and food. Okay, and occasionally clothes. Then, there are some things that I’ll bend the rules for just a little bit like my recent gym membership and a night out with my friends every now and then. Then, there are things that I just can’t bring myself to pay for…

Over winter break when I was completely bored out of my mind, I decided to type the following letter combination into Google: NETFLIX.

I knew it was a horrible idea once I did it. But I had just finished the first 2 seasons of One Tree Hill via DVD and I was dying to get to season 3. Lucky for me (why did I not know this before?) Netflix has a free trial for a month.

Over the next few days, I became Penny from Big Bang Theory after she discovered World of Warcraft.

Penny After all, I only had a month right? Not only did I have to get through all 9 seasons of One Tree Hill, I also had to experience what it was like to watch any movies I wanted all day long. This was serious business.

I told my friends about my plan to keep Netflix for only a month and they all laughed. “You’ll get addicted,” they said. “There’s no way you’ll turn it off after a month. It’s basically impossible.”

Well, friends, I successfully got through season 6 of One Tree Hill and viewed 4 movies by the time break was over. (I know, I’m kind of an amateur, but I tried to have a life, too.)

According to my Netflix account, I have… 9 days????? WHAT?! Wow, I didn’t know I was cutting it that close. I still have 3 more seasons of One Tree Hill to watch! Okay… maybe another exception is in order. $7.99/month? Maybe I’ll just do the first month. After that, make no mistake, I will cut it off.

Bikini By Break?

Sorry, guys. This post is a little overdue. But, do you all remember my Break Boredom post? (Why are you still reading this? Go read that post right now.)

I have found my hobby. It’s actually an old hobby that I used to have back in high school and a little bit when I went to Bethel. Anyway… my new addiction? EXERCISE!

Okay, I know what you all are doing right now. Stop Jennifer Lawrence judging me and hear me out.

I’ve always found exercise to be really fun. I got myself a gym membership at Planet Fitness (Do it! It’s totally worth the $10/month), plus I can use the gym at my school and I go just about every day.Yes, there are some people out there that are against paying for gyms. I get it, I really do. But, I’ve found that paying for my membership actually helps me out. First of all, I could stay at home and break out the completely ridiculous 90’s workout tapes (shoot, where’s my VHS player?), but the space is limited and frankly, I don’t like throwing weights around my living room (or soup cans because I don’t have free weights anymore). Something will get broken. Second, paying to use the gym motivates me to get there. Why wouldn’t I go? My $10 are at stake.

I am currently working on calling my renewed hobby something snazzy, just because I feel like when you go through some sort of life transformation, it should have a name. “The New Me?” Maybe that’s a little overused. “Bodypocalypse?” Is that weird? Oh! Here’s one: “Bikini By Break.” I don’t know. It needs to be something catchy.

As someone conveniently pointed out the other day, I have no extravagant plans for spring break (um, joykill much?) and I live in Northern Indiana, so maybe wearing a bikini over spring break isn’t the best idea I’ve ever had.

Wrong! I will find someone with a hot tub. It will probably still be snowing because my spring break is in March, but I will find one and wear my bikini in it with my friends who are also doing this YetToBeNamed exercise thing. So, hot tub people of Northern Indiana, trust me when I say:

“Bikini By Break?” I think it’s a keeper. Unless y’all have other suggestions. Get at me.

Hey, Jennifer Lawrence Judgers. Stop it. I know what you’re doing.